Happy Turkey Day!

Well, tis the day of the turkey here. I got up to work this morning, a brief jaunt to the office and run med drops to clients for those who didn't have family to go to today. I find that kinda sad really. The major event so far of this fine blustering day, I took a nose dive onto someone's porch and tossed myself. FUN! Wrenched the right knee, bruised my left foot, my back is now killing me, right elbow twinges a bit, and the ground is still icy. So now I get to debate on driving up to the in-laws and go see my dad too. Grrrrrrr. Oh well. Happy Thanks Giving Everyone! ;)~


T-Molly


...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Laundry Mats and Weirdos

If there was ever a motivation to seek and buy a house, it's doing laundry at a laundry mat. Granted, I have far less opportunities to be lazy. For instance, if I had a washer and dryer at home, I'd leave piles in the dryer and not put stuff away etc etc. So here I am at the Levee Laundry and Tan. I go there, it's near my rental unit, I'm a creature of habit, and I haven't bothered to find someplace else to go. I might even start tanning there at some point when bills aren't fluctuating like the friggen stock market. Soooooooo, I'm on my celly most of the time, talking to Mum and friends up until the dryers are done and I start my fold and hang it if ye can routine. I have two quarters left, miracle here, I found 75 cents that I washed and actually had enough to dry my clothes without having damp things to hang up. (side note: a whole other story, but I want to blast it right into this blog before I forget it. I've been told by some pagan friends, perhaps properly called wiccan, if you burn Dragonsblood incents, it's supposed to help invoke prosperity. I burned 3 yesterday, one for me and two for a friend who got shafted with overdraft fees from his bank. He likes to play poker too. It didn't help him much, but I found my missing $17 from weeks ago. It survived the washer, dryer, and a hanging until I put those jeans back on. Hmmmm. Thus follows the rest of the story!) YAY! So I have 50 cents. I go play the quarter rip off game, I usually lose more than I win, but it's an addictive process trying get this sliding tray to dump quarters of joy for me. I figure what the hell, it's 50 cents and I don't risk getting frenzied with dryer quarters. I plunk a quarter in, and BLAM! I get 4 bucks! YIPPEE! I'm thinking McRib "sammich" and a coke, possibly fries. There's this cute kid standing behind me, he's all like "WOW! YOU WON A LOT!" His dad comes along and started lecturing his son and sorta me about the evils of gambling and that it's the devil's work and I'm evil for gambling and his son is a heathen if he's cheering my gambling. Blah-blah-blah. I put the other quarter in, I get 2 bucks! This is rare, I've essentially gotten all my cash back from the last 3 weekends. I essentially won nothing, but broke even over time. Yeah yeah. So the Jesus Freak is still on his evil kick. I look at him, after pocketing said winnings and tell him, "Well, if being evil means I get to eat a meal tonight rather than Raman noodles and be hungry, I'll be evil and gamble. Oh and I'll buy a pack of ciggies too and drink the rest of my BEER when I get home!" I sauntered off and I'm sure this poor kid was confused. The lesson being, ignore weirdos and idiots, they'll only give you a head ache!


Mad Molly----Buwahahahah!

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Boys

I say boys because it appears to me that most men don't know how to be mature adults. From baling out hubs to the guy next to door, I could likely go insane! Guy next door, thinks I should be all peachy keen about his neo-Nazi attitude and swastika tattoo on his chest. Thinks things will be ok if he goes out an removes said tattoo. Not really. Then then the persistent requests for me to move into his new house he's building. I DON'T THINK SO! I'm happily living on my own here. Throw in the overly playful coworkers, joy and rapture. Throw in the highly up tight coworkers that could produce diamonds from out their arse. ARRG! Just felt the need to vent here, this seemed the place to do it!

T-Molly

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Some poems..... Rambling thoughts

Sure these are some poems and thoughts. Things either real or imagined! However taken, these come from within me and inspired by someone who knows how to talk to me in ways not so easy for me to understand. OY! You know who you are.

Quietly

Quietly
Pragmatically
Lovely
Whole heartedly
We come together
Moths to an incurable flame
In lust
In confusion
With desire
One last fling
In the after sex shower
Still taste you
Want you
Smell you
Feel you
Miss you
And think of you
This desire
This passion
And I chase you all over again
Quietly
Hoping
Cannot regret
Cannot forget
No rhyme
No reason
Just a moment locked away from words
And I sit thinking of you
Quietly

Crisis

Plot it out
Connect the dots
When all it is
Natural
Two people
Lovers
Friends
Mixed up so wrong- so right
I could shout your name
Whisper desires
Beg and smile coyly
Lead me to the bedroom
On tip-toes and locked hands
And gently you say
One-last-time
For this is the crisis of good-bye


Tell Me

Tell me why
Tell me
Why is it this feels so good?
Together
Kissing
Cuddling
Hands locked
Fingers tracing curves
Lips soft, gentle, and wet
All down your chest
My tongue teasing-
Tasting
Here and there
Oh-
And there
That perfect spot that makes your skin tingle
I smile
Running your trembling hands through my soft hair
I go down
You-
Go down
Discovering
This feels so good
But why?
Tell me why does it feel so wrong?
This sad good-bye
Tell me

Spinning

Too much
Too soon
Not enough
Never too much
So the song goes
I hit replay
Listening
Over and over
Watch the dryer spinning
catching glances of strangers
Unaware of how much I wish to be invisible
Don't look at me like that
You don't know me
"Sorry."
Doesn't clean away the sorrow
Replay the night you said no more
Watching the sheets in the spin cycle
Your smell-
That sweet-sweet scent
Away now
Folded away
I should've known you were never here to stay

Last Night Stand

On tip toes
Tongues twisted
Touching-
Lips and finger tips
Leading the way
Through a trail of candlle lit light and sweet caresses
Slowly
The heat rising inside
Making sweet-sweet love
And slowly
You watch me dress
Smiling shyly
Admiring quietly
One last kiss
One last taste
And down the road I go
Alone
Lonely
And OK.....



...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

911 I Still Remember

I kinda woke up this morning and thought to myself, "GAWD, has it really been that long? I remember it like yesterday." It was a Tuesday morning, yeah, I think we all remember that or some don't cuz they just never cared. I was getting ready for school, college morning, typical coffee pep talk and thinking about stuff for class that day. I was futzing around, getting ready and checking e-mail. My girlfriend Carole called me and told me to turn on the TV. I'm of course thinking and then saying, "Which channel?" Carole gets all excited on me and fusses, "It won't matter, it's on all the channels, just turn it on." So I'm looking at the TV, dumbfounded. One tower was hit already and live feed. I get a call on the other line and I take it. It was my girlfriend attending college out in NYCU. She lived not too far from the area of the towers. She's confused, doesn't know what's going on and trying to get a hold of her mom. I'm trying to figure it out myself. And the second plane comes through. I'm hearing this and thinking, "HOLY SHITE!" So I tell Kristy to get the hell off her phone and get out of dodge. I had to track down her mom and tell her that Kristy was ok. The whole time I was absolutely freaked out and shocked. Yeah, it was a screwed up day. The neatest part of it really, not that it should have taken something like this to happen, but people talked. Strangers, everyone talked, cars lined up at gas stations in a panic, and people talked. And the eerie part was the fact that for days, I never saw a plane in the sky, day or night. Except a few military flights. Oh man, that was so strange. It was the first time I could remember not seeing a holding pattern for O'Hare in Chicago. Campus was a bit odd that day too. Again, everyone was talking and ranting and crying and upset. Profs, some of them canceled class or just had class and talked about the events. I'll never forget that day, that week, and the things to follow. How can I? I don't think I really slept that much for a few days. I just sat there in front of the TV watching the rescue efforts and thinking it's just a bad dream, but it was quite real. My heart still goes out to the people and families that lost loved ones and comrades. May we never forget that day. But for pete's sake, let's get the hell out of Iraq! The horse is dead, let it be.

T-Molly


...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Simple Confusion

I wrote this for you. You know who you are. Sorry things are such a confused mess! But for you and you alone, I wrote this. Hope you understand. Life isn't always simple, yet it's simply confusing where matters of the heart are concerned. Here's to better days....

T-


Boy don't you know I gotta run?
Speed away from here
Get you out of my bones
And leave this mess behind
Run away from pain
Just to write those wistful-
Mournful
Romantic poems
Things gone awry
Things not meant to be
So wrong
And I don't know why it felt so good and right
But I gotta run now
Be on my lonely way
From zero back to square one it seems
I sit and spin within those happier scenes
Can't be still
Don't know peace of mind
And I think of mistakes
Good ones
Bad ones
Run for my life
The one that used to be
The sweetness between you and me
Again
Ignition turning
Tires screaming the way I want to
Grinding that clutch like it was what's left of-
My heart burning into cinders
And I say to you
With bags in hand
A quiet tear in my eyes
Good-bye
Good-bye
Don't you know I gotta run?

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Crackheads are going away! YAY!

Ok, so hubs calls me and tells me that the crackhead rednecks next door are getting evicted from the trailer and the park. It's about time. Although I'm of the belief that they merely shifted or reincarnated to the punk neighbor boy who smokes enough pot to stone a room full of manic psychopathic schizophrenics! Grrrr-grrrr-grrrr. Oh well, the new job is working out wonderfully. Getting used to being alone here. It's ok really, just need a TV to pass the hours where I have nothing to do all night long. My SCA group here has been taking care of me, my family away from home. I've gotten lamps and various furniture bits which is muy bien really. There is certainly plenty to do in this college town, but I'm SO broke it ain't even remotely funny. Oh well, back to my PB&J, Ramen Noodles, and coffee pot. Mmmmm. I need some real food soon! Thanks heavens that pay day is tomorrow!

T-Molly

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

New Job... Packing! Moving?

So I have this new job lined up. I'm about 99.9% sure I've got it. It's just a matter of them calling my references now and talking to the personnel director. AND when can you start? Yeah, those magical words of joy! So, here's the kicker, I figured it was absolutely a done deal and quit Friday, because I have a lot of packing to do and that's a week long chore. I was figuring "Hey, I'll need a week to pack and move and all that other happy crap." Then I get a call from my prospective employer saying they want to call my current job for a point of reference. WHOOPS! So I explained why I quit Friday. Last week, new schedule was coming out, I took the last of my vacation days after being informed that I was to report to the chicken houses. EEP! Double EEP! Now I know I've told them countless times since this all started, I CANNOT handle the houses. They freak me out to no end. I feel panic attacks coming on just thinking about it. Throw in my irrational fear of bugs, and there are bugs o' plenty in there, I CANNOT do it! All of that aside, there's the spousal unit that doesn't want to move to LaFayette with me for the job. He says he can't transfer schools so close to being done with his degree and the VA may not pay for him to transfer too... Ok, I can see that, but then he throws in how he wants to be close to his family, doesn't want to quit the EMS service here. UGH! I'm not giving up an opportunity to take a career related to my degree! Not many people I know can say they have a job not long after college and it's related to their degree. Grrrr. So there's the more than slight chance we're gonna end up breaking it all off here and going our own separate ways. It's not that I hate him. I just can't live with him like we are anymore. The fact that he wants to have kids and I don't is just one sore point of a few going on, and well I'm not changing my mind about that either. I don't want kids right now, maybe not ever! The fact that I married a hermit is also a low end on the spectrum of things I care to tolerate. He doesn't like the people I call friends or associates. Yes, my SCA friends that have been nothing but wonderful and helpful to me since the first day I met them. Throw in the latest string of new friends, Michael, Scott, Nonna and company, plus a number of people I count on that list of folks I would gladly hug the next time I see them, there is more to life than what I've got going on at home, which is NADA! So here's to me being strong, standing my ground, and taking control of my life here. Oh well. It's time to get back to laundry, sorting, packing, moving, more packing, and it just never seems to end. I just pray they call me tomorrow and ask me "When can you start?" TOMORROW! RIGHT NOW! Yeah, anytime.... REALLY!

T-Molly

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Friends

A few months ago, I heard that a friend of mine was going to be shipped off to the great big sandbox of joy called Iraq.  Needless to say, I had heard about it after he was long gone.  So for a moment, I was pretty darn upset with the prospect that someone I knew would be directly affected by this crapstorm in the Middle East. :(  So I sat down while cooped up at work, that lovely pit of chicken hell, and wrote him a few pages to send out to him, only I didn't have a shipping addy yet.  Yeah, so I held onto it for a while and finally got an e-mail addy for him.  I never did get to send it though, he was home the 4th of July due to a paperwork glitch.   So I spotted him at one of my fencing practices I attend, can't fight yet, but I came to see how everyone was doing!  And there he was, in living color, all safe and sound.  I gave him the biggest hug hello I could manage!  So the rest is history for now.  I am really happy about him being home and not there in Iraq getting shot at.  Here's to a long lasting friendship and whatever else that may come along.

T-Molly

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

 

Nothing New--- Yay-rah

Yup, nothing new to say really.  The job still sucks!  I'm looking for new work and I'm beginning to believe truly that 10 years of working through school for a BS degree means exactly that, BS!  Oy.  The neighbors have chilled to a dull roar, which is nice.  I don't have to listen to them carrying on through all hours of the day and night.  Job prospects, yeah, back to those.  There are a few in Chicago.  YIPPEE!  I just hope if they do call after the initial few e-mails that they pay decent enough to survive on!  There's also a few south of me, the plus being I have friends that live in that particular area and it's a decent college town too.  Either way, I will be more than happy to shuck off the unpleasant aspect of work comp and the job I have now.  Things would be better if they weren't so bad... My favorite redundancy check phrase there!  Oh well, just an update for those who are out there reading!  Weather sucks too.  Rain-rain-rain!  Yuck!  I want the sunshine!  Mr. Sunshine!  Yes-yes, the sun is good, it makes things grow and I am a happier squirrel for it too. ;)~

T-Molly
 
...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Captain Hook -Lil' Miss Cranky Pants -Workman's Comp Nightmare!

Some of my friends call me Happy Pants most days... I'm usually just bouncing around being my happy silly self... Although lately, I've come to realize that I work for Satan! Well, it's actually an egg farm. I get to pack eggs into boxes all day about 30 hours a week, another 12 doing quality control on said eggs. So now I have carpal tunnel from repetitive motion work. I have tennis elbow and I don't even play tennis! ARRRRG! But I do fence and here's the kicker, my job wants to blame my injuries on FENCING! Yes, the hobby that I love and might have time to get to a few hours a week at best if I'm lucky. Now I've been forced onto a transfer to something that resembles a dungeon. It's complete with mice, their droppings, and about a million dead bugs all over the place. Plus a thin layer of feed dust and chicken manure floating in the air at any given time, most of the time actually. But yeah, it's the mouse droppings that kill me. I wonder how they got into the microwave! No bathrooms, just two community port-a-johns that smell like crap and has enough flies to carry you away at some point. One refrigerator that is mainly for bird vaccine storage, so really can't stick food in there to keep it cold... I wouldn’t want to anyway. Um yeah, I wouldn't even condemn the mice to live in that thing. No kind of water I would drink from, no water cooler, no vending machines, or accessible sinks to wash the filth away. I'm fairly isolated there, no one to talk to unless one of the two other peons come in for a break, nothing to do, can't clean anything, I'm restricted from doing anything but twiddle my thumbs, no wait, can't do that, that's repetitive motion too, so therefore I'm hurting myself and should stop! I seriously think I was put there so I would get fed up and quit. The classic out of sight out of mind, well, I DON'T THINK SO! Since I am essentially doing nothing but roasting in a dungeon, I could easily sit at the main office, nice clean place with air conditioning and do the same thing. So why am I in a pit of crud? Hmmm, seems to me, I have a right to be upset and paranoid now. GAH! Any lawyers out there want to sue the crap out of this place for me? I bake cookies, good cookies. HELP!

Tammy... Not Molly Today

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Ten Year Class Reunion... A Gross Pointe Blank

I heard that I missed my ten year class reunion during my trip to Jersey... not that I missed much. The few friends I had, I have heard news of or actually seen in the past ten years. I had no real desire to see other people that were never interested in what I had to say anyway! So I ran into an old friend a few weeks ago, over the Memorial Day Weekend. That was treat enough! It was like going back in time and catching up on the all the good things we remembered. Hi Earle... Are you reading this? Man we had a blast in High School when we weren't plotting the destruction of idiot school mates. Now it's bills, life, and general mental cramps, but old friends can never be replaced. So here's to better times and new memories. YAY!

Tammy aka Molly


...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

Life's a Beach

So my neighbors are still crack head red necks... Nothing new there, I didn't think aliens would swoop down and mutate them into something that resembles normal. I don't think they can even fake normal!

Went to New Jersey, that's was fun, kinda like a dental visit after sitting in a truck cab for 14+ hours with nowhere to move my poor legs and feet! Next time, I'll fly or take a vehicle that actually has a back seat to sleep on comfortably.

The highlight of this lovely road trip was going to Gettysburg on the way home. Lots of monuments and things to see. Getting a real perspective on history is priceless! The hills were nice to see, but I realized after a few days of seeing HILLS everywhere, that I missed the 80+ acre corn fields and rows of soy beans that I see around here daily in my Hoosier home of Indiana!

Alas, not much else to report that won't incriminate me at home! Don't ask... it's complicated.

T-Molly


...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin

First Post

Oy. What to say on a first post other than "GREETINGS!" I'm a squirrel at heart here. No really, I just chitter and look cute all day according to most people. Yeah, today I decided to just rant to myself on-line. Complain about the new crack head neighbors and their three little heathen boys that throw nerf balls on my trailer. Week one and I've heard and seen them do more annoying crap than anyone I've ever laid eyes on! This used to be a nice place to live, now it's like a nightmare, and the nice folks that lived here once upon a time have up and left this little pit of despair. Here's to moving out soon!

T-Molly

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin